Taking Paths Less Traveled

Joyful Hiker. Mother. Teacher. Adventurer.

I started out my #CUE18 conference experience by attending the session titled “Climbing the SAMR Ladder: Designing Engaging Lessons for 21st Century Learners” presented by Julia Maynard, Michael Bloemsma and Jill Bromen of San Francisco USD. They began their presentation with discussing their district’s demographics, and their technology goals. The phrase that stuck out most …

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When ever my district or union offers to send me to a conference I jump on the opportunity. I love conferences. The crowds, the energy, the inspiration.  Spring #CUE18 did not disappoint! Unfortunately, it is hard to hang onto the glow I get from a series of great sessions. When at the conference the energy …

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12 Years in lock down: A Tummy Tale

June 10, 2013

12 Years in lock down: A Tummy Tale

Last month at the Joshua Tree Music Festival, I was eying a sweatshirt in a vendor booth. It was adorable, but was cut so that my belly would show. The owner said “Trust me” and thrust it over my head. I fell in love. I couldn’t believe that it fit, that I loved it and how sexy it made me look and feel.

Last night I couldn’t figure out what to wear to go explore Downtown Riverside. I tried on a dozen outfits, all the while my little short sweatshirt sat patiently getting longing looks from me. Finally I just tried it on. It was the perfect fit once again. Only this time, I didn’t have a shirt underneath. It’s getting really hot here in So Cal, so I was hesitant to wear a sweatshirt. Yet, when I put it on, I didn’t want to wear anything else. My belly button was showing, all its stretch marks in a star pattern from my two children and a previous belly button ring, the little dimples of cellulite, the curves of my failed diet attempts. But for some reason, I felt brave. I asked my size zero cousin… She hesitated, but then, she said, “It looks good actually.” My cousin and I have made a deal to be honest with each other, and I knew her hesitation was genuine and so was her comment. But still, I decided to wear it to the grocery store first to give it a trial run.

Decked out in our heels and jewelry, my cousin and I make quite the show, yet it is always her stick thin body that I feel people staring at. This time I felt all eyes on me. It was bizarre, scary, but encouraging as well. I found my sexy. My size 12 body found a sexy that was against social norms. I noted all the women with much smaller abdomens, covered up, as if there was something to hide.

While I was out, (spare shirt in tow just in case I chickened out) I only overheard one negative comment, but I blew it away. It didn’t matter. I felt sexy and I decided that my tummy was going to come out of hiding, it has been in jail for long enough. It might be a little battle worn, and maybe I’ll actually put some work into that 30 day crunch routine I got from Facebook… Buy on this night, my belly got to shine.