So, just had a total panic attack while driving home. First, Christiphor just left with Mikayla… basically Mikayla said they were leaving, but usually Christiphor asks or talks to me about when he leaves, so it stressed me out. Then as I drove away I just had this terrible feeling in my chest about him being in a car accident. He wouldn’t answer the phone. And Tony was being all rude about everything. Basically making it worse.
Finally he answered and I felt better, but then in the cajon pass there was this huge accident that had just happened cuz only cops were there. And the fire engines were stuck behind two other accidents. All I could see of the first accident was this mangled truck up on top of another vehicle with its driver side smashed in. There was smoke all around it that was eerily reflecting the lights from the cops and traffic.
There was traffic for miles and miles and as I watched them go by, reminded of the truck, I just started crying.
Then Tony was mean about that, telling me I was going to crash.
All I wanted was for someone to hold my hand.
Finally home now and feeling somewhat better. I hope I can get some really good spiritual recovery this weekend. All my stuff is strewn about my floor waiting to be stuffed into my backpack.